June

I figure it's time for another post. I'm down to one and a half months left in Cambodia and it's been a flurry of activity. For the past two weeks I've just wanted a weekend in Prey Veng where I can relax and just lay in my hammock; I only have two weekends left in Prey Veng before I leave and I need to pack somewhere in there.

Life has brought many surprises in the past few weeks. I will be starting grad school at Drexel in September. In a week and a half I'll be taking two more online classes as pre-requisites for my program. My MCC going away party is planned. I still need to work out some logistics for the party in Prey Veng, yet I've been dragging my feet because I don't want to face the fact that I'm leaving, and in a time of transition again.

I think I block out the bad parts of life; I really dislike saying goodbye. I'd much rather welcome others in and never have to be parted from those who have impacted me, some significantly and others only slightly. I hate the process of packing, not only must I leave a physical place where I have so many pleasant memories, but I must realize how much I've accumulated over a certain period, and despite how much I try, I will always be a consumerist.

I'm still trying to process everything that has happened in the past month. It all so fast! I was elated when I found out, yet despite having a 'plan' I believe I'm more frightened now than when I was going to have a fall garden at my parents' house. I'm country girl; moving from rural Virginia to rural Cambodia wasn't such a challenge for me. Yes, there was culture shock and other things to deal with, but I felt at ease as I was in a semi-comfortable setting. But moving from rural Cambodia to downtown Philadelphia? I'm scared silly. Likewise, I have no money and the minute savings I had is quickly fading as I purchase books and pay tuition deposits.

When I was making the decision on whether to attend Drexel this fall or to wait for the winter quarter, I felt a quite voice say "trust me." The last time I headed that voice I ended up in Cambodia. I figure, in spite of my fears, it's worth heeding again. I don't know where I'll live or how I'll pay for it or how I'll adjust to living in a city. But I will trust.